Saturday 29 July 2017

You Don't Always Get What You Deserve, But...

Jcee, life has not been fair to me at all, I have prayed and fasted but it seems God is not hearing me” those were the words that first tumbled out of Bisi’s lips after a protracted bout of tears.
Bisi and I have been friends since childhood and we had decided about a year ago to have a girl’s day out. It had been a while since we had one of those and I was really excited but one look at her face though and I knew that plan of ours wasn't going to be as pleasurable as I had hoped.
She narrated how her hubby wasn't doing so good at work and how she is trying to see what she can do to support her family, well this lady I am talking about is a master degree holder from one of the best university in the UK, she was even offered a job with the university because she had a distinction which she had to turn down because she had just gotten engaged and was planning her wedding.

Now she has three kids and she was still looking for a job.
She continued; right now Jcee, I am frustrated I wonder if my life would remain like this.
I have tried doing some other types of business but failed. I am not cut out for them.
All I want is a career as a business analyst and I don't see it happening anytime soon.
I'm so confused; I don't know what to do.
See I love my hubby and my kids they mean the world to me but maybe I shouldn’t have turned down that job I got in the UK.
Maybe I should have looked for how to handle the family life and the job, I am just not happy, I deserve better than this. She finished.
I told her, Bisi first of all, you cannot start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one, always look at what you have and never look at what you have lost because it is already in the past. Remember Paul in his letter to the Philippians (3:13) said ‘One thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead of me.’

Secondly, I don't know how to help you in your career but one thing I do know is that you want to be a Business Analyst, and that is what you should focus on. Keep Pressing Forward; keep looking for ways, even when there seems to be no way. Take the little steps of today they make the Giant Steps of tomorrow. The extra energy required to make another effort or try another approach is the secret of winning. Don’t ever give up because if you do, then you are practically saying it is over.

Lastly, you don’t get what you deserve; you get what you negotiate. So if you think you deserve to be a business analyst then negotiate for it with all of you. Fight for your dream and do not get comfortable in mediocrity. Be the boss of your life.

Few months after we had this chat, she started consulting for a private firm although it is not where she wanted to be, it was not where she used to be.
She started by being proactive and submitting different business proposals to different offices, instead of just applying for a job when there is an opening.
In the future, she intends to have a consulting firm. 

This is to encourage all the superwives, supermoms and career driven ladies that have slowed down their careers or have put it on hold for whatever reason, we can still have it all if we keep pressing forward with a positive attitude 

#wegomakeam #thepowerofpositiveattitude #bosseswithattitude.

Saturday 15 July 2017

I Will Love To Spend The Rest Of My Life With You But...

It happened, finally, it happened; my boyfriend of 5 years just popped the question. I've never been this happy in my entire life, I wanted to scream out loud I’M GETTING MARRIED! I was so excited, I couldn't wait to tell the world.
First I had to start with my family. Days after, still basking in the euphoria of being someone's fiancee, I was brought back to earth by a call from my uncle.

He said, "Jcee I am very fond of you and I have to tell you what I feel about this impending marriage. You just rounded up your youth service, you don't have a job or a career path yet and I have known you to be industrious, career driven and a great achiever; what do u think will happen to your dreams after the wedding?'' He continues, you are going to start taking care of your husband and before you know it, you have a bunch of kids to take care of too, what happens to your dreams?  This is how it works, either u marry early, give birth to your kids and then pursue your career or you get married after you have gotten to a certain level in your career but not when you are just about to start a career.
l pondered on this conversation I had with my uncle. I love my boo and I will love to spend the rest of my life with him but what of my career, my dreams, my aspiration? Are they all going to be on halt? Will I be happy in a marriage without achieving my purpose in life?
I really do not want to take my marriage vows without having answers to these questions. 

One Monday morning while I was observing my devotion I stumbled on Philippians 4;13 which states "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me". It got me thinking do I really believe this? If I do, then why can't I have it all? Why can't I be a super wife, mother and still have an amazing career? Who says I can't have it all? I know God wants me to have it all so that's all that matters.
Anyway, I got married to my boo five years ago,  I still have a long way to go in my career path but I am not where I used to be. My uncle was right about one thing though, we started having kids almost immediately and believe me when I say this: they are the best blessings i have ever received.
Truth be told, it is not easy raising a family and also building a career not just having a job but using your God given talent and getting the best from it. All we can do is to keep pressing on.

This is to encourage all the career driven super wives and moms who are worn out, tired and stressed out. WE CAN HAVE IT ALL IF WE KEEP PRESSING FORWARD WITH A POSITIVE ATTITUDE #superwives #supermoms #bosseswithattitude.

So what do you guys think... 
When is the best time to get married?
1. Before building a career
2. Whilst building a career
3. After becoming self sufficient in your career.
4. When your heart tells you to.    


I happened to be in Miami, Florida during the summer holidays, and visiting Miami without going to the south beach is pretty incomplete...